Goodluck Declares Candidacy for the MEND Republic

Posted on October 5, 2010

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The President of Nigeria Goodluck Jonathan on Saturday October 2nd declared his candidacy for the head of the group MEND (Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta). He did this at the meeting of the Economic Community of West Africa States meeting in Abuja.

According to the Nigerian President who was dressed in his traditional bowler hat and white top, he had thought about it for a few months now. “This as good as any a time to announce my candidacy for the leadership of this prestigious group. I have observed their work from the sidelines of my bedroom at Aso Villa and I have been very impressed. It is now time to get up and throw my hat in the ring before it is too late.” He said. “If not for anything, because a few powerful forces have begun to hijack the organization and use them to commit terrorist acts like bombing cars and places in Abuja and around the country, I have decided to declare my candidacy for the presidency of the organization, effective now.” He continued, “as you may have noticed, I share initials with the current spokesperson of the organization Mr. Jomo Gbomo. He is J.G and I am G.J. There is no bigger reminder than this of the similarities we share in ideas, identity and ideology.”

The president was greeted with a round of applause and standing ovation, but he had to leave the meeting early, and through the side doors because there were rumours that a set of bombs were timed to go off around the city later in the day.

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Posted in: Politics