Browsing All Posts filed under »Politics«

President launches book to teach first lady how to read

December 21, 2010

1

In a brilliantly decorated school hall yesterday, the Nigerian president and aspirant for the PDP ticket announced a new book that he has just written a book to teach his wife, our dear first lady, Mrs. Patience Jonathan how to speak and read english. The book is modeled after the famous “Hooked on phonics” books […]

Breaking News: WikiTweaks!

December 16, 2010

0

Wikileaks has successfully changed the projection of our world; even the Stars complained about a recent document detailing how brightly they shine at night. They feel as if they are no longer as safe as they can be. The effects of the recent phenomenon on Nigeria cannot be overstated. Late last evening, members of the […]

WIKITWEAKS: Lesbian love affair

December 16, 2010

1

A secret document recently released on the WikiLeak website argued that Dora Akinyuli and Turai Yar Adua were having a torrid lesbian love affair over the last 5 years. It was also reported that the dissolution of the relationship resulted in the enmity that developed between the two most powerful women in Nigerian politics. It […]

International Ballistic Theft

December 15, 2010

0

The President of Nigeria and his advisors were coerced to return the balls they borrowed yesterday morning to the International BALListic federation and they were charged with international ball theft. The balls were used to charge the former Vice President Cheney with corrupting Nigerian officials with corruption. An investigation was launched after it was discovered […]

Sanusi Lamido Sanusi’s balls are now for sale

December 6, 2010

0

Sanusi Lamido Sanusi’s balls are now for sale. We were informed that the Items are made of indestructible golden steel and are invaluable. It is up for auction at the National Palace in Abuja. Many big name actors in Nigerian politics are reported to have submitted an RSVP for the occasion. Among the attendees is […]

Nigerian charges against the Devil

December 6, 2010

0

Goodluck Jonathan has charged the devil for the inhumane treatment of the Nigerian populace and acts of corruption against the members of the Nigerian Government. In Abuja yesterday, member of the National news corps were told of the presidential office’s major struggle with the evil one. An arrest warrant was produced to arrest Satan and […]

Breaking News: Dimeji Bankole confesses!

November 16, 2010

0

Breaking News: Dimeji Bankole finally confesses that he is in fact a vampire. He declared this declaration last evening in his pitch-dark palatial mansion. He told 567B4b4 that he does not support “lighting up Nigeria” because this might lead to his demise and the demise of his friends and their generator businesses. When asked if […]